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Sunday, May 30th, 2004

Time:1:04 am.
You are Lili St. Cyr!
You're Lili St. Cyr!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, May 8th, 2004

Time:10:31 pm.
Trouble in paradise arose last night when the stalking of my romanian friend ended in a screeching realization that he is in fact extreemly unattractive. And that is in more then one way.

I realized I don't like meeting people and sifting through the idiots for romantic or sexual coupling. I figure the first one is as good as the last. To me idiocy is idiocy, and esthetic attractiveness is a flexable thing.

But, now I have gotten to the point where these chasing games are getting me in more trouble than I am interested in handeling, and the guys aren't worth the interest.

This romanian has shed a bit of light on my relationship with the swede.

I do need goals and fantasy and romance though.
and unfortunately a fun-loving, sexy, smarto-girl has a hard time finding worthy playmates.
Maybe things will change as the weather heats up.


Oh god, I thought my mom rummaged through my room and threw out my vibe. But she didn't, I found it, I'm gonna go masturbate and figure out how to find hut guys.

Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, May 6th, 2004

Time:11:02 pm.
Friday night is so passe, or however you spell it.

I am so annoyed with people, and the lack of intelligent conversation in this world.

I had good spontanious sex today. For some reason I think about having sex with dogs, but dogs don't turn me on, it's just something about the idea of it.

Then my boyfriend mentioned it, and I just couldn't help but take him to my house and do it doggystyle.

Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, May 3rd, 2004

Time:10:21 pm.

I haven't written for a while.
My sex drive is raging at the moment.
I hung out with
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I haven't written for a while.
My sex drive is raging at the moment.
I hung out with <lj-user="soylentjames"> on thursday. Went to a club and had a nuts time. Long story....
I'll tell it soon. Eventually.

I hate the porn my boyfriend looks at. It never looks like me.

The struggles of the heart.
I need to find a computer to get my pictures on.

I NEED to go to finland.

Le Sigh...

Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, April 23rd, 2004

Time:11:01 am.
Oh how I love the europian men.
Americans never grow up.
What a pathetic culture.

More about my nw romanian friend...Collapse )
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, April 14th, 2004

Time:10:09 am.
I went to florida.
I came home.
But I have no home to come to.

I need a job.

things are changing.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, April 2nd, 2004

Time:11:45 am.

I am the Natural

Childhood is the golden paradise we are always consciously or unconsciously trying to re-create. The Natural embodies the longed-for qualities of childhood - spontaneity, sincerity, unpretentiousness. In the presence of Naturals, we feel at ease, caught up in their playful spirit, transported back to that golden age. Adopt the pose of the Natural to neutralize people's defensiveness and infect them with helpless delight.

Symbol: The Lamb. So soft and endearing. At two days old the lamb can gambol gracefully; within a week it is playing "Follow the Leader." Its weakness is part of its charm. The Lamb is pure innocence, so innocent we want to possess it, even devour it.

What Type of Seducer are You?
created by polite_society
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Time:11:35 am.
I went to dinner last night with this guy I met on Lava yesterday while I was at work.

It was fun.
He is a lazy fuck.
He looks like one of my friends who lost a lot of weight mysteriously.

I think he likes me.
He's eccentric.

I like eccentric guys.
They seem more real.

weirdos for weirdos
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, April 1st, 2004

Time:11:04 am.
Sitting at work rocking out to 80's music on Accuradio my semi savior.

I feel weird, and not so great. I'm thinking about my sex life, and what is going on in it. The problem is I guess not much. But really I'm thinking more about my fantasy life, and I think it reveals a lot about me.

In my fantasies things are pretty much boring. I have dreams about making out, about the moments before a kiss.
When I take out my viberator, I think about someone that I like telling me they like me back. Sometimes I get into the rauncher side of things, but not frequently.

Compared to my boyfriends fantasies, I am totally rated G. but I guess those are the things that are exciting to me, really.

At least right now.

for me having raunchy fetish hardcore deepthroat slapping ass arobic sex is easy.

But enjoying a kiss, or having one with emotion, passion and electricity is hard. Getting someone to like me is also hard.

Thats why it's in my fantasies.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, March 31st, 2004

Time:10:47 am.
It's so absolutely horrible. I am going to have more trouble getting back to finland then I thought, the prices just went up, and I'm going to need about 200 dollars more then I did before. This is just because I didn't decided to bug someone to buy me the tickects yesterday! I feel like such a dunce.

Yesterday was a really hard to.

You know lately I have been contemplating the question of penis size, and whether or not it matters.

I have to say in a way it does, but thats just me. I think my boyfriend has a really good size for me, I couldn't deal with much bigger, and wouldn't want to deal with anything smaller. I mean, just for the purposes of sex.

But, that leads me to think about how important sex is. Not like anything emotional, but just the physical sensation. Physically I would prefer a penis similar to that of my boyfriend.

But would I stay with him just because he is good in bed? I don't know.

the point is. I can make things work in bed, and it is interesting. Is it worth it to work on it with someone else when I already have it down pact with someone else?
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, March 30th, 2004

Time:3:59 pm.
You know when you want to write like 20million things, and all of them are kind of on a different topic? yeah thats how I feel now. I can't really figure out the write place to write about them, but yeah, it's really interesting.

I feel like so much is clear, or clearifying, or just you know moving into place. But thats always happening it's like a traffic game.

I don't know if I should stay or if I should go. I don't even know how much money i will make by the end of this week. God.

But most importantly. It's hard to choose what to chase.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, March 29th, 2004

Time:2:05 pm.
earlier today I was talking to skryche and it was really fun. I feel like like such a littel immature twit though.
I really do. I don't know what it is to really be mature, and I don't know if I even want to be that. All I know is that I am pretty insecure and quite frequently I worry that people are under that assumption that I am brain damaged. Half the time I am even convinced that I am.

I feel like I am in a stream.
God I am self centered. But I think thats natural and normal and okay, because well, my self has been pretty active, and I think it needs a lot of attention, and cultivation. That should be valid right?

This job really gives me time to dwell, and I like it. I never thought I would be stuck in a cubical, but it's kind of nice. In a way it doesn't take anything out of me, but in a way, just being in this little box takes so much out of me.

I g2g get back to work.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, March 28th, 2004

Time:10:56 pm.
Okay, so I was just thinking about one of the guys I had sex with while I was away. He was 28, short, cool, you know. I guess you might not thought. Because I'm not really sure how to discribe him. To say the least he was a nice guy, and one of the only guys in Finland who understood that you should buy a lady a drink.

Eitheryway, I hung around with him a couple of times, and then we had sex. I was excited about it. Untill it happend. He has a gut, and I told myself "your fat, he's fat, it's all good. Not biggy." and boy oh boy was I wrong!

we get into bed, and it is like one of the worst fucks I have had. He's on top of me, and no matter what position we try I can't feel much. He's wearing a condom which deadend much of any sensation there was to have from his small weener, and he was humping away at me. All I could think of was my round bellied dog that died a couple of years ago. He was sweet and lovable and endearing, but fat, waddly and gross at the same time. The only thing you could really spare for him was hope. So there I was praying that he would cum, and hopeing that he would just fall asleep, and not try anything else.

when he finally came, it was truamatizing. Oh god. I think the one thing I visualized was a car breaking down. I was relieved though. And more then ready to go to sleep.

Some guys are ment to be just friends.
Now I understand one night stands a lot better. Sometimes you just never want to see the other persone agian.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Time:10:43 pm.
God, Femcum. I can.
I did last night.


Well then I guess if anything I can start my recap off by saying that I had sex with two finnish guy. My first experience with an older man, and my first experience with someone who wasn't my boyfriend but still felt the need to whine about condoms.

picture. and more.Collapse )
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Time:12:15 am.
Anyway, I'm back but hopefully not for long. Being home is weird. Relationships are hard. Growing up is harder. But I guess one of my biggest problems right now is having good sex.

What I want is always changeing...

there are so many details I want to share with you. but not right now.


have a heart.
but i guess thats hard to do.
when you don't even know where yours is.
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, March 5th, 2004

Time:9:50 pm.

whydo you do.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, March 4th, 2004

Time:11:19 pm.
yes, very trying situations induce very trying attemps at resolving those situations. I guess i am being pretty vauge.
I guess i am.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, February 29th, 2004

Time:11:27 pm.
Eden always gets a reaction out of me, I guess thats why I read her. But, like okay, I have never really dissagreed with her or thought poorly of her very much before now. I guess I'll have to seperate my idea of her, from my idea of what she says. But then agian I'm starting to like her less and less. I guess.

she just wrote and entry about how good like, these books tell women how to minipulate men and how to fake and to get what you want out of them are good.

I totally 100% dissagree with this sentiment. I think they are dumb.
If you are going to fake once, you have to fake forever.

my dream man is someone who i can be myself around and who can me himself around me, yet we still love and enjoy each other.
No faking or minipulation.
but whatever.

it's hard to find a your dream partner, and thats why so many people want it to come easily.

Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, February 27th, 2004

Time:10:19 am.
Oh man,
I had the craziest sex dream ever last night. I am so deprived right now, it is horrible.

It was like three scenes and three guys. The first scene is a mad steamy romantic flirty scene with some guy who I guess is supposed to me my husband, while we are getting the kids out of the house. Then it turns into my boyfriend, who is laying around with me, we are talking etc etc. In a nice like, beach house or something. Then there is one with the guy I am staying with here in finland, and we are really snuggling and he says he has to go, and I see he has a hardone so I put my hand on his crotch and tighten my grip around it as I ask him to stay. It's nuts. totally nuts. No actual sex though. I haven't had a dream that hot in ages. It was really hot. It was so hot I woke up.

Then I had to pee.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, February 25th, 2004

Time:11:01 pm.
anyway, yes.
I am here.

having a good time.
will write more when i am less worn out.


finland is wonderful.

Comments: Add Your Own.

LiveJournal for so_experimental.

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You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.